Currently playing in the background: Home by Scrimshire
My move from Sydney to London had to happen so fast that I barely had time to get my life in order before I left. My bank account is still open, my Australian phone line still active, and get this: my clothes, furniture, production papers –in short, all my things- are still in Sydney. But there’s a lot more there than just that. I realised, in many ways, my heart is not here with me. At least I had avoided moving my heart over.
This is the wonderful thing about travelling: every now and then, we’ll come across a city that just ‘fits.’ It speaks to us, it comforts us, and it touches our heart. It is home. That’s what Sydney was for me. If bureaucracy had been on my side, I would probably still be there. But life took a different route and I’m in London instead. Am I dissatisfied or unhappy? No. But we all know how hard it is to let go of a former lover.
Yet we all know it has to be done some.
We need to move on in order to be able to breathe, in order to see beauty in life’s twists and turns – how ever difficult that may be. I find that most people who get absolutely no pleasure out of living in a particular city are in fact not living there. They might physically be there, but not necessarily emotionally. It is a tough state to get out of. And some the usual advice of “just move on, go outside, live a little” might (definitely) be easier said than done.
As someone who has lived a nomadic life, I have given that particular advice on several occasions. Yet I have not walked the walk. My Twitter account shows me as living in Sydney, Australia. I had been aware of that ever since arriving in London but somehow thought ignoring updating my location would either make me feel better, or give me some link with a time in my life I enjoyed the most.
But it’s time to walk the walk. My friends in Sydney whom I love and miss dearly still mean the world to me. And I’m sure they miss me too. But people move on. It’s the future we control, while the past can still carry the same importance as it did a few minutes, few days or years ago.
Nothing will ever change my memories – but the truth is, my present is not there. Many of us might not be at the place that speaks to us. The reality is: we are in London. And do we want to wake up ready to enjoy a day, or sulk in the misery of our heart being afar?
And just like that, my Twitter account now lists me as living in London, United Kingdom.
Şeref İşler is a journalist at the BBC World Service’s Turkish section.
