The chair leg won’t screw back in that hole anymore, chuck it away.
My jackets zip keeps splitting, another one to the junk bag.
This frames edges have come lose and the glue won’t hold it, recycling box it is.
Our marriage is falling apart, would you throw it in the bin for me?
***
Would you? What would you do if it was your marriage? Living in England, let alone one of the busiest cities in the world is hard enough as it is, the last thing you need is a broken marriage isn’t it?
I don’t know, you tell me, do you think it’s worth fighting for? If not then why and how are you going to deal with it when you do throw it in the bin? Having seen my parents go through a year of arguments and troubles up until their divorce at the age of 12, I think it’s safe to say there’s a lot more to it than you see when peering into the looking-glass. It isn’t all about the reasons that have brought the marriage or relationships to this point, more so about what the outcome is when it’s all ‘done and dusted’ with.
I’ll probably be told off- badly, for writing about this, but guess what? I’m a journalist. Press card or no press card, this profession (especially a columnist) gives me the right to write whatever I like; the best thing is you can’t do anything about it. Look at it like this, you’re arguing with your partner constantly, there are no improvements no matter how much counselling you have and even the kids speak to each other more than you do. Whether you choose to admit it rather than not, there is seriously something wrong! When you take such a big step like marriage, you expect or at least hope it will last as the traditional vows go ‘til death do us part’- not see it crumble like a stepped on cookie almost 18 years down the line.
As Christmas is two days away whilst I write, one really hopes none of you reading this are going through such an experience. If you are, please be strong and remember everything happens for a reason (honestly). Divorce these days has probably become as common as having a drink down the pub; no exaggeration there let me assure you. According to National Statistics UK, it is estimated that 42 per cent of marriages in the UK and Wales will end in divorce (Dec 2012), that’s almost half. So when they do, what about the little ones crying for their daddy? The primary school pupils who search hopefully for their mum in the audience when it’s the Christmas play? Or the teenagers who can’t ask their mum to look at their GCSE revision, because they know ‘Dad’ was always the one who helped.
What about them? You see yourself as divorced, left, separated, what about your children? They’re now the kids/s who cover their ears at the slightest sound of an argument, the teenager who sits alone in the playground because she can’t speak to anyone about it and the little boy who cries himself to sleep after you’ve read him a bedtime story, because mummy used to put on funny voices but you couldn’t wait to finish it. When marriages become broken, majority of the time it isn’t fought for to fill in the cracks, but ends up in court deciding which of you will have custody of the children. They are suffering already, without having to be stuck between the two people they love most in the world. On a brighter point, the child/children’s bond may now strengthen with the both of you and as they grow up will learn what divorce means. And that the only good thing which came out of your marriage in the end, was themselves.
I think what we seem to miss these days it that we don’t like to fight for things anymore, let alone consider a different scenario. You see it as, it what is and whatever is meant to be will be, well not really because most of the time it isn’t. You, they, we, are the ones making the decisions and have the power to fight for it or throw it in the bin. Next time you see something falling apart or breaking whether this be a marriage, relationship or anything else important to you, think long and hard, go to places so deep that you didn’t even know existed and when you return- try and fix it. You’ll regret it if you don’t.
